So, I have never blogged before, but many in my life have asked how things are going with our ongoing journey to parenthood. I'm not even sure anybody will ever read this, but's a great way for me to get all these thoughts out of my head.
Taking a step back to the beginning, we have been pregnant 3 times, all ending in miscarriage. The first pregnancy ended at 11 weeks. The baby was passed naturally, and the doctor's found that the baby was only 8 weeks along. This first miscarriage was incredibly hard to go through both physically and emotionally, but over time we began to get on with our life.
About 5 months after the 1st miscarriage, we found out that we were once again pregnant. We had many miscarriage scares through the pregnancy. At about 16 weeks I went in for one of these scares and found that the heart had stopped beating. At 16 weeks I was in danger of passing it on my own and it was too late to have a D and C (standard removal for miscarriages), so I was only left with the option of being induced and going through labor and delivery. This was also a very physically and emotionally draining day-we were able to see and hold our little boy before we had to say goodbye. For both of these pregnancies, we held a small service at our in-law's house to honor their memory. Our 2nd baby was far along enough to see him move in ultrasounds, and far enough to know that is was indeed a little boy, whom we named Ethan Alexander.
After these two pregnancies life eventually went on and we become more serious about becoming pregnant. We went through every "wife's tale" of following/predicting ovulation and after 12 months I went in for a fertility appointment. By regulation, a pregnancy test was given. As the result was coming up the nurse told me it was negative, and that little feeling of failure hit me once again. But then when the doctor came back in, she said there was a faint positive and she told me I was pregnant! I was happy, but after 2 miscarriages, it was more of a guarded happiness. Almost from the beginning, I knew that this pregnancy would not last, and at seven and a half weeks, yet another little life passed. This last pregnancy ended July 6, 2010. Life eventually continued to go on and we decided that we would let life take its own course and not think about it so much. More recently we hit the 12 month mark again and because I've had 3 miscarriages, I am in "special" grouping now of high risk for future pregnancies and mostly because of the 2nd miscarriage that ended with no real answer (much testing and an autopsy was done), it has become somewhat of a riddle to be answered. But that is for another blog.
